"I’ve been battling with depression for so many years now. At some point, I was misdiagnosed and my situation deteriorated, I had suicidal thoughts, I made an attempt to die, I had a constant fear of living."
Artist: Georgia Ponirakou
Project: Snowbed
"There is a particular scene in Werner Herzog’s film “Encounters at the end of the world” where a penguin heads straight for the mountains, away from its colony, away from the ocean. Even if someone tried to catch him in order to bring him back with the other penguins, he would return and head towards the white and frozen area, towards his death. This creature, a depressed and lonely penguin, seems to have taken his own decision and a snowbed is the only thing he craves for.
I’ve been battling with depression for so many years now. At some point, I was misdiagnosed and my situation deteriorated, I had suicidal thoughts, I made an attempt to die, I had a constant fear of living."
"It happened suddenly and unexpectedly and all I needed was something to stop the constant pain. A snowbed seemed like a refuge. Life was intolerable and linear, I couldn’t laugh or feel joy, I didn’t care if I was eating something tasty, starting a conversation was a struggle, explaining my feelings was impossible. Nothing could comfort me, not even my child, not even love. And I grew feeling worse and worse about feeling this way.
The pictures in these series along with the handwritten poems had been created over a period of six dark years and it ended up as a diary of thoughts and memories, possibly a journey towards something meaningful.
It is an attempt to chart my path through mental illness such as a major depressive disorder. It is a description of fighting against it and mourning. I know that there will always be relapses of the disease but I am aware now, I embraced it to the point I can celebrate and thrive over my fears."
© Georgia Ponirakou