"Society has a way of separating generations from each other."
Artist: Josefien Tondeleir
Project: Remains
"The series Remains was created after both my grandparents died, with one day in between, due to Covid. To prevent me from continuing daily life, and not taking time to mourn, I decided to confront myself regularly with what remained of my grandparents. I visited their home after it was emptied and before it was sold, every week, and photographed the house, details of stuff that was lying around, and took self-portraits with their clothes on.
While standing in their kitchen and looking outside, I saw the birds sitting at the fence separating their garden from the neighbour’s garden. Somehow, I never felt closer to them. I realised I was looking at the same things they'd been looking at for the past 50 years. My aunt saw the withered flowers in the garden and said, "they're mourning because dad is no longer here to take care of them"."
"Spending time in their home and photographing myself in their clothes, made me feel like a child again. While running up and down the stairs, just as I did when I was a child, memories came back to me and inspired me to take pictures. On the one hand, I felt sadness because they were no longer there. On the other hand, I felt happy and relieved because I had this private playground, where I could move freely and express myself, with no one asking questions.
I recently read that "while the amount and type of care we receive as children is deeply impactful, what matters the most is how our caregivers feel about us, which grows out of how they feel about themselves." What made me wonder, who were they, how did they feel about themselves, and how did they transmit this feeling to their children and thus to me? What part of them have I now internalised? In this sense this project is not only about letting go, but about discovering who I am, by getting to know my grandparents better.
Society has a way of separating generations from each other. We would benefit on so many levels from tearing down these walls between the elder and younger generations, also within families. By looking at this work, I hope people will be inspired to engage in a more in-depth conversation with their grandparents and be as curious as possible about these people's rich lives. I hope they'll be encouraged to look beyond the aging bodies and see them for whom they are and value that."
© Josefien Tondeleir
Editor : Kiko